Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
