im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
as a side note pls kill me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
