If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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