You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
