In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
