Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
