Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ketchup is God's man juice
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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