I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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