it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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