A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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