before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
