I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
