Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
