I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
