Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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