Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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