College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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