it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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