It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm having to shit out rocks
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