just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize