he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
