Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
