hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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