You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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