Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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