I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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