Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
