I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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