I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have fence marks all over my body
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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