I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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