This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
