Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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