if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
