Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
