Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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