I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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