no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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