I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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