Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
