Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
