elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
no you cant smoke seaweed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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