i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
