I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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