I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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