We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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