but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
