I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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