were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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