I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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