How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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