just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
