We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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