Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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