All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
