You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
