I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it hurts more in the daytime
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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