If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Life is so much better after having sex.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
