I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
