i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize