I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
