Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
