My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
