sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
even my farts smell like vagina
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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